Ramble Damble

Hey everyone! I decided not to be like the rest of you guys who do NOT update your blog (boring tau tiap2 hari takde mende baru nak baca kat blog korang2!).

There are so many things happening in my life, but I just couldn't seem to find the time/energy/mood to type it out. So, I will try to recap stuffs in short little paragraphs.

a) Overdosing on St John
Can you believe that I went to that place twice within a week? Giler ke? And I'm not a big fan of the whole sun, sand and the sea thingy. Bukan apa... takut gelap. Some people may look good tanned and all, but I'm not one of those lucky souls. And I hate going around with patches of skin peeling off my body. But having said all that, I have to admit that I had tremendous fun during both trips. I went there unwilling both times but I had so much fun. I decided to swim.. since I know I'd hate watching the rest having fun in the water, I was persuaded to play rumah dayak (which was a blast!), I happily played charade and had a wonderful time at Mind's Cafe.

b) Mixed feelings about being at the new workplace
Yang ni susah nak cakap. I hate being the new girl, of course. Having to start all over again can be a little sucky, but I guess its like starting on a totally new slate. I really miss my friends. I sat in the meeting wishing they were there with me and we could do the usual passing of notes/ criticising she-whom-we-shall-not-name's dress sense/giggle2/ngumpat2 dan perkara-perkara yang sewaktu dengannya. I hate coming into the office and not being able to say hi to everyone and getting hugs that usually lift my spirits up early in the morning. I looked around and I realises that these people will be my new 'family'. It felt just like when I had to move house after I got married. Sedih sey.. But like they say, CHange is the only constant. And I think it's definitely bettert that I moved out of my comfort zone. I was beginning to get very bitter at the old place. I was beginning to mentally resist everything that was implemented, which I know, is not healthy.

c) Getting back to work is NOT easy.
Duh! After many months of membesarkan bontot, what do you expect right? At the end of every meeting for the past too days, I got terrible headaches. Dah lama tak exercise the brains kot. Hehe... Plus the fact that Ryan has been waking up like every 2 hours for the past few nights! ARGHHH!! Why now?! Stress aku!! Nasib baik aku sayang kau! Kalau tak......
I really do not know how I'd cope with the lack of sleep and having to be perky in class. We'll see how. I will update you after a week or so at work.

d) House hunting
We went to our first house viewing today. The house was nice and all, but the price a bit too steep.. I just can't wait to get my own house and give Ryan his own room! And I think Shahreil's room here is going to burst soon with the ever increasing number of stuffs we've bought! AND most importantly, I can finally start cooking. I actually missed cooking and baking. Masak kat rumah sendiri ngan kat rumah orang lain wooo! And I better start cooking again before I forget how to cook!

e) Ryan is getting cuter by the day.
I especially love it when he smiles. It makes all the shittiness I feel go away. And it makes the sleepless nights feel worth it. I can't wait for him to be able to give me a hug and a kiss. Heheheh.. And sometimes when I look at him, I still can't believe he is MY son. I have a son? Me? Hahahah...

f) Impulsive decisions
Well, another relative of mine making another impulsive decision that I personally believe to be totally ridiculous. Downright stoopid! And what's worse, people that I feel should be responsible in advising the said person, aren't doing anything either. Bodoh! Ni suma orang-orang yang tak pandai matematik! Tak pikir panjang. Nanti, masa depan dah hancur lebur salahkan orang lain ah padahal diri sendiri tak tau nak pikir and tak nak dengar nasihat orang. Tapi..kalau si luncai dah nak terjun lengan labunya..apa boleh buat kan? Biarkan....

Ohhh k... dah banyak mende ni.
Menyenyeh jer si Yati. Tidur pun baik!

The Blues are approaching..

December holiday is ending soon and it never fails to give me the blues.
Especially bad this year as I had been enjoying myself (if i don't think about the post natal blues) for more than 3 months.
Add the fact that Im moving to a totally new place, leaving my comfort zone.. really daunting!
I wish I can angkut ALL my friends along ... Khadijah, Su, Asz, Fadhli.. *sigh*

And I dread the fact that I will now officially be a working mum. I personally feel that it is not the best way to bring up a kid.. but ordinary folks like me have no choice huh? I am so going to miss being with Ryan. ARGHHHH!! I wish I can just stay at home and look after him! But, at the same time, I can't deny the fact that I do miss working too. (crazy!) But true..

A happy birthday?

It was Ryan's 4th month birthday last Tuesday. Sadly, he spent the day sick and cranky.

I can't believe I went to see the doctor TWICE within one hour. First, was for myself.. who had been coughing non-stop the night before. It was so terrible and I noticed my phelgm (?) had little teeny weeny dots of blood in them.

When I reached home, I realised that Ryan's body was rather hot too. Initially I thought that I was just being paranoid. But I decided to take his temperature and it was 38 degree plus plus. Alamak! Demam! Tangan dah ngegel ni... I decided to bathe him and when I took his temperature again it was a high 37 degree... Off to the doc! I wasnt going to take any chances with my precious little boy! And to make things worse, he was actually moaning all the way to the doc. I've never seen him like that before. Honestly, I was so scared! Especially since people kept saying how fever in an infant, especially a boy, is dangerous.

So, the day was spent sponging him. I was so worried about Ryan that I totally forgot that I was sick too. Luckily, Shahreil took over when he came back from work so that I can finally give in to my drowsiness and sleep. Not for long though cos Ryan started crying. NON STOP! That was really scary! I didnt know what he wanted, whether he was in pain, or how to help him.. it was so frustrating...

In the end, I asked Shahreil to call ayah to ask for advise. Ayah told us to baca a particular surah 11 times and blow at Ryan's forehead. After doing it a couple of time without any success, I called ayah and begged him to come over. Well, no begging needed actually, since he'd do anything for his grandson.

Alhamdulillah... Ryan is ok now. ANd I'm glad I survived his first fever. +phew+

I am doing ok as a mother, so far. I hope.