Its here again.
My feelin too-lazy-to-go-to-work syndrome is back.
I just realised something.. this syndrome only surfaces whenever it's the middle of te term..
Yup. Its true. The first 2-3 weeks of the term, i'm all upbeat and energetic.
Come the 4th .. I'm walking around like a zombie.
I am walking like a zombie nowdays. There isnt any more spring left in my walk.
I drag myself around with a slouch.
I feel old. I feel my bones cracking.
Damn, I'm only 25. How come it feels like 52?
Nvm..5 mores weeks to go..
5 long weeks.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Monday, July 04, 2005
Shittiness all ard me
I'm going ard with this bad feeling in my tummy. No. I'm not having a stomachache.
It's just things ard me.
It feels like shit.
First, well..the aini incident. My own sister secretly took my atm frm my purse and withdrew $50 frm my acct. Fuck! Talk about family and trust. I was so angry yesterday when i found out wat happened that i refused to come home, in case I coulndt control my anger and bashed her up or something. Yes! For once, i really feel like doing that to her. After all the shits that she has done, this was the worst. I'm totally disgusted. I mean.. i can stand her taking small changes from our wallets..even 2-20 dollars... but stealing my ATM to WITHDRAW money? I have this intention of bringing her to the police station just to teach her a bloody lesson.
What i'm more pissed off with is the fact that my dad, who said that he'll settl this thing today, is not doing anything abt it. We;ll see what happens.
Second, the austin. I thought he was a friend. Whatever flaws he has, I've always tried to see the good in him. I always try to see the good in people. (except Siti Nurhaliza, hahah) But look where that has brought me. I can stand his silly mouth shooting out nonsense all the time. But yesterday was the limit. I really couldnt stand him putting down Shahreil like dat. It started out simple enuff. Him asking what Shahreil bought me for my bday. And he added, "nothing i supposed"cos he tot that Shahreil being jobless and all cldnt afford to buy his gf a single present. I told him that he bought me an mp3 player. and he straight away said things like how stupid of shahreil of buying me things like that and wasting money when he sld be saving up for our wedding and stuff. He refused to see the positive side that althou my bf might not hv that much money, he was still willing to spend whateve he has to buy me a nice little present. Its not as if he does it every single day. its my birthday for godsake! He was being a jerk, judging shahreil while not knowing and undersatnding his situation. FUCK HIM!
The way i see it, he has a low self-esteem, and to make himself feel better, he has to put others down. I've noticed that for years. He likes to bad-mouth all the malay mats in singapore, saying that they r good-for-nothing and all. But look at him. how desperately he wants to be part of the 'mat' groups. during sec sch, he tried to wiggle his way into the 'malays' groups.. most of which rejected him.. u see the irony there? him hating malay guys but wanting so much to be part of them.
Whateva it is, what he thinks of shahreil and me. Our relationship or Shahreil, for that matter, deosnt matter at all. Who cares? He doesnt noe shit and doesnt hv the rite to judge us. So, once again, fuck him. As simple as that.
It's just things ard me.
It feels like shit.
First, well..the aini incident. My own sister secretly took my atm frm my purse and withdrew $50 frm my acct. Fuck! Talk about family and trust. I was so angry yesterday when i found out wat happened that i refused to come home, in case I coulndt control my anger and bashed her up or something. Yes! For once, i really feel like doing that to her. After all the shits that she has done, this was the worst. I'm totally disgusted. I mean.. i can stand her taking small changes from our wallets..even 2-20 dollars... but stealing my ATM to WITHDRAW money? I have this intention of bringing her to the police station just to teach her a bloody lesson.
What i'm more pissed off with is the fact that my dad, who said that he'll settl this thing today, is not doing anything abt it. We;ll see what happens.
Second, the austin. I thought he was a friend. Whatever flaws he has, I've always tried to see the good in him. I always try to see the good in people. (except Siti Nurhaliza, hahah) But look where that has brought me. I can stand his silly mouth shooting out nonsense all the time. But yesterday was the limit. I really couldnt stand him putting down Shahreil like dat. It started out simple enuff. Him asking what Shahreil bought me for my bday. And he added, "nothing i supposed"cos he tot that Shahreil being jobless and all cldnt afford to buy his gf a single present. I told him that he bought me an mp3 player. and he straight away said things like how stupid of shahreil of buying me things like that and wasting money when he sld be saving up for our wedding and stuff. He refused to see the positive side that althou my bf might not hv that much money, he was still willing to spend whateve he has to buy me a nice little present. Its not as if he does it every single day. its my birthday for godsake! He was being a jerk, judging shahreil while not knowing and undersatnding his situation. FUCK HIM!
The way i see it, he has a low self-esteem, and to make himself feel better, he has to put others down. I've noticed that for years. He likes to bad-mouth all the malay mats in singapore, saying that they r good-for-nothing and all. But look at him. how desperately he wants to be part of the 'mat' groups. during sec sch, he tried to wiggle his way into the 'malays' groups.. most of which rejected him.. u see the irony there? him hating malay guys but wanting so much to be part of them.
Whateva it is, what he thinks of shahreil and me. Our relationship or Shahreil, for that matter, deosnt matter at all. Who cares? He doesnt noe shit and doesnt hv the rite to judge us. So, once again, fuck him. As simple as that.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Finally ok
I thank God that I'm well again.. ermm..althou not 100%, but it's definitely better than the past few days where I'd spent my day popping pill s and sleepin. At least, I was well enough to enjoy a day out with Shahreil.
Talking about Shahreil... something's bothering him. I can sense it. He admitted it anyway. He's cranky. Maybe it's the joblessness thingy. Wish I can do something. It hurts me to see him that way.
Okies.. i need to go bathe and then sleep..AGAIN.
Talking about Shahreil... something's bothering him. I can sense it. He admitted it anyway. He's cranky. Maybe it's the joblessness thingy. Wish I can do something. It hurts me to see him that way.
Okies.. i need to go bathe and then sleep..AGAIN.
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