Its 1st Jan.. and every year on this date, i'm not a hapy person cause usually it means, the start of a new school year. And after nearly 2 mths of holiday, i'll be dreading the thought of waking up early in the morning.. homeworks and what-nots. Well, i need to point out that i'm out of school (in theory, that is)..but in reality, i've not escaped the whole education system, cos you see..i teach. ANd the feeling is DEFINITELY, 100% positively, TOTALLY worse than when i was a student. But let's not get into that for now..cos i've got other important things on my mind.
Its abt the tsunami tragedy that struck asia recently. To let you guys out there noe, i'm really affected by it. BAD. and when i say BAD i mean REAL BAD. I cry when i read the news, when i hear the news, when people talk about it, when i think about it, i even have nightmares abt it. NO... I wasnt at any of the disaster area.. and non of my family members are victims.. Its just that i was in phi phi island barely 2 weeks before the disaster. And i was like still suffering frm what i'd call post-holiday symptoms: talk phi phi, eat phi phi, sleep phi phi. Me and my group of friends couldn't stop talking about phi phi. I flip through pics of phi phi ever few hours. I eben harbour dreams of quitting my job in a few years time to actually live in phi phi and sell satay...hehehhehe... Thats how badly i've fallen for phi phi and its people.
So guess how i felt when i heard that dreadful news? TERRIBLE. I'm an emotional wreck now. I keep having these flashes of all the people i've known, talked to or even just seen in phi phi. HOw's that man is doing? IS this woman alive? Is He dead..bla..BLA..BLA..and i'll start crying..
I think my boyfriend is getting quite sick with me already. He kept trying to make me feel better but obviously it didnt work. I KNOW its GOD'S WILL and there's nothing in the world that i could do to stop it. BUT somehow i felt that something could have been done to avert the disaster. At times like this, i wish that i'm superman (dun laugh! its true!) But i guess even superman couldnt have possibly done anything right? *sigh*
All that i could do now is to provide assistance. I've donated but somehow i wish i could do more that just that. Ive this crazy thought of going to phi phi to actually help physically. but of course i cant. i'm bonded to my job. i need to go there somehow. maybe for myself..for some kind of closure. see the destruction for myself. see the people that i care about down there are ok.
i still hold this strong desire to go there. I WILL go there. Maybe not now but one day..i will. FOr now, all i can do is to pray for those who fall.
DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE THAT NO ONE CAN HEAL, LOVE LEAVES A
MEMORY NO ONE CAN STEAL
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