Im starting to panic about the wedding.
About money, about getting everything ready, about not having the perfect wedding.
Shahreil always tell me that I cant expect the perfect wedding.
But hell, I cant help it.
Since I was a kid Ive been dreaming about having one.
And what if its not what Ive always imagined it to be??
What if some people sibuk2 and spoil it for me??

And I just know that there will be a clash of opinions on how the wedding should be.
Why must I invite EVERYBODY in this world?? People who doesnt even know that I exist, that doesnt care that Im getting married, that will whine about having to sacrifice their Sunday to tunjuk muka, that only look forward to mengumpat about the majlis 10 thousand years after the event itself?? Why??

What if I cant afford the wedding?
What if I dont look nice during the wedding?
What if I am too busy to plan my wedding??
What if Im not ready to be a wife?
What if Im not ready to live at Shahreil's house?
What if? What if? What if?

And its not helping that lately, Ive been witnessing marriages crumbling down.
I really do not need those right now.
I do not need to see straying husbands.
Uncaring husbands.
Husbands, who, after 30 years of marriage, start to act like a pathetic jerk and proclaim to the wife that she doesnt make him horny anymore and thats the reason why he has a second wife at some faraway island.
J-E-R-K.
Are you trying to say that it is JUST sex??

So, you see..I have reasons for all the doubts.