The Reasons

I'm not sure what I'm going through right now. But it's certainly not good.
There's so much sadness and depression in me.
I wish I could be happier. For my sake and for the sake of others around me. Who love me and care about me and will not be happy to see me in this state.

Someone wise told me that Happiness is a state of mind. I'm sure it is. And I'm sure I have a choice in the way I feel about things. I think, I've been taking things for granted. I tend to look so much into what I DON'T have that I neglect the fact that there are so many wonderful things in my life that I just take for granted.

1) A happy family. True, having a family as huge as mine, there's not a day that passed without any quarrels..big or small. But it is a happy family. I didn't realise how lucky I am till I look at the state of some of my students' families. Very sad. So, there you go, I do love my family.

2) My job. Damn! This is one thing that has been making me depressed for the past few weeks..Hell! For the past 2 years, in fact! .. But then, this is in fact my childhood dream! Being a teacher! I've always wanted to teach and be the hottest teacher in school. And yup, not afraid to admit that I AM the hottest teacher in school. Hahahah..tak malu siakz.. And despite all the shits at work, I think, at the end of the day, I do love what I am doing.. moulding the future of our nation. Hahahhaha...

3) I have Shahreil. Even with all the shits in my life, he is the pillar of my strength. My sisters will gag at this, but it's true. I take him for granted sometimes.. We bicker all the time. Shout at each other, hurl insults and sarcasms.. But I am glad that I have him. I remind myself every now and then, how much I wanted him last time. (yeah.. hate to admit this, but I was the one who fall for him first. Damn!) How hurt I was when I thought he liked someone else. How badly I needed him. I count my blessings for having him here with me, after more than 6 years. And very much in love. And I'm just looking forward to the day where we will be united as husband and wife. Insyallah.

So, there you go. 3 wonderful reasons why my life is so much more meaningful than I ever thought it was. I thank you Allah for loving me enough to have me blessed with such wonderful things/people in life.