The reality has finally sets in.. That I've lost him.
Ok..Ok..I've known that for a few days now, but today, it kind of hits me on the head. Totally.
He will never love me the way he did before.
And i can't even blame him.

I yearn to see him.
See him smile at me.
Touch him.
Smell him like i always do.
Hug him.
Hear him laugh the evil laugh that always irritates me.
Hear him call out my name lovingly.
But he won't. Ever.

I've never prayed half as hard as the past 2 days.
I prayed that he will open his heart for me.
The feeling is worse now than the time that I wanted him but he wanted Malah.
I hated that period of time.
Feeling so inferior to Malah.
Wanting to be the one that he want not her.
I got him. But then again, I've lost him.

I've lost him.